The Human Scale · Part 2
Chapter 14: Why We're Taught to Hate People We've Never Met
Many people feel real anger toward people they've never met. That reaction is learned. Humans evolved in small groups where disagreement required ongoing contact. Media removes that friction, turning neighbors into categories. Americans dramatically overestimate how extreme their opponents are. Proximity doesn't eliminate disagreement, it strips away the moral permission to hate.
Key insights
- Americans dramatically overestimate opponents' extremism (Perception Gap research)
- Distance enables dehumanization by replacing individuals with symbols
- Proximity imposes natural restraint, you argue differently with someone you'll see tomorrow
- Media surfaces extremes that feel representative but usually aren't
- In a 2024 Science megastudy of 25 interventions, the most effective approaches reduced hostility by presenting sympathetic individuals from the other side and by correcting exaggerated perceptions of opponents' views
- Restoring proximity reduces the moral permission to treat others as threats
- Average confidence across 14 major institutions sat at 27% in Gallup's June 2026 reading, close to the 26% record low set in 2023
- More in Common finds both sides imagine almost twice as many extremists as exist, estimating roughly 55% of opponents hold extreme views, with the widest gaps among the most politically engaged
That reaction doesn't emerge naturally. It's learned.
Sections in this chapter
- Distance creates distortion
- Abstraction enables dehumanization
- Moral permission
- What proximity changes
Reflection
When you picture 'the other side,' whose face comes to mind? Is it someone you know, or a character assembled from headlines and clips?